I am sorry to the people I have let down through my shoddy gum ball placement.
After achieving such a wonderful position here at FrozNmore's Ice Cream Treats I have really let things slide.
The last 7 years of placing the eyes in the frozen treats, have led to me taking MY eye off the ball and let the $3.32 I am paid under the table fill my head with worldly dreams.
This has led to your poor small ones being disappointed when they open a 50 cent popsicle, only to discover that less than the purchase price went into its creation.
I know how sad the small ones can be when faced with troubles. Or if mine weren't toiling with me or under latchkey, I can imagine them being sad at something like this if they had spare money and play time and opportunity and education...
Though I do not ask for your pity, I do wish that you take into account that my hands get very cold after running this machine all day without bathroom breaks. That is a big difference from "doesn't even try," sirs!
I do know my bossman says that the ice cream bars would cost so much you would instead be complaining about that if they were made to be perfect and hope you understand that I will be extending my long shift to 14 hours in hopes of better gum ball eye placement for you and your wee ones.
God bless you sirs!!1!!1-- For your amazing power of disproportionate disappointment sets the stars in my heavens for me to tie my dreams of labor bondage to.
Yours Truly, Pedro.