Friday, June 15, 2007

I am sorry to the Holy Santos children of the Boing Boings

I am sorry to the people I have let down through my shoddy gum ball placement.

After achieving such a wonderful position here at FrozNmore's Ice Cream Treats I have really let things slide.

The last 7 years of placing the eyes in the frozen treats, have led to me taking MY eye off the ball and let the $3.32 I am paid under the table fill my head with worldly dreams.

This has led to your poor small ones being disappointed when they open a 50 cent popsicle, only to discover that less than the purchase price went into its creation.

I know how sad the small ones can be when faced with troubles. Or if mine weren't toiling with me or under latchkey, I can imagine them being sad at something like this if they had spare money and play time and opportunity and education...

Though I do not ask for your pity, I do wish that you take into account that my hands get very cold after running this machine all day without bathroom breaks. That is a big difference from "doesn't even try," sirs!

I do know my bossman says that the ice cream bars would cost so much you would instead be complaining about that if they were made to be perfect and hope you understand that I will be extending my long shift to 14 hours in hopes of better gum ball eye placement for you and your wee ones.

God bless you sirs!!1!!1-- For your amazing power of disproportionate disappointment sets the stars in my heavens for me to tie my dreams of labor bondage to.

Yours Truly, Pedro.


x said...

As citizen of the great state of Idaho I am proud of what Efren Ramariz has accomplished for 'mexican-americans' everywhere. Hard work in ice-cream factories is what this country is made of. Take for example "Farm Aid". Hard working farmers rely on uneducated migrant workers with low skill sets. Making fun of them to prove some point seems un-American.

Glad your back.

Research Monkey said...

Yesss! Creative and entertaining.

artificial said...

very funny!! subscribed to this. keep it coming.

What does an movie character working in exploitative conditions have to do with the politics of farming the in Golden Spike country or the very real personage of Efrem?

x said...

'Tis Sarcasm.

advocate said...

I'm glad you all worked that out.

I can only say that I hope the future robot overlords:

1) Know that I had no part in the making of that link saying that your kind do not care where the eyes go.

2) That the robot overlords will take pity on those involved in said production and view you as a product of your times.

x said...

(LOL!)I should know subtle wit is lost on 'artificial' intelligence. BTW-Robots like you to have hope. That way they can dash it when you least expect it. Your attempts at appeasement are futile. Know that your association with us 'organics has been dully logged.